The Best Of The Rest: Part One
Man…amidst a bevy of mixing, remixing, downloading, uploading and a plethora of sloth-like activity, I forgot that I wanted to do a Best Of The Rest entry. Or rather a list of my picks for the decade. Being late and all, I'm going to combine my favorite movies/albums/TV Shows/video games into one entry, condensing all of this nonsense in the process. Onward and upward!
Top 10 Video Games of the Decade
10. Saints Row 2
Admittedly, this is a complete Grand Theft Auto clone in every sense. It gets points in the customization area, allowing for character creation that is adds another comedic layer.
9. Tony Hawk Pro Skateboarding 3
After this version, the Tony Hawk franchise has never recovered. This was basically the last entry in the series that got away with being over-the-top ridiculous while still being fun.
8. The Suffering
The only survival-horror game that kept my interest throughout. Your avatar's personality was revealed at the end depending on how you played the game. In my case, I ended up being a serial killer.
7. Grandia 2
Every sequel since this version has been disappointing, but this was easily the best RPG on the SEGA Dreamcast.
6. Max Payne
The entire franchise has been handled poorly since, but this game was pretty groundbreaking when it first appeared, introducing Bullet Time to gaming.
5. Grand Theft Auto 3
Other games in this franchise have far exceeded this one, but this one gets the nod for being the trailblazer of hilarious and/or offensive violent gameplay.
4. The Legend Of Dragoon
I still believe this is the most satisfying RPG I've ever played, though I'm certain that it would not hold water today.
3. MLB 09: The Show
There is very little that one cannot do in this game that feels unauthentic. Every aspect of MLB from gameplay to front office business is featured prominently.
2. Skate
Skate was and is the Tony Hawk destroyer. Getting it completely dead on right out of the gate, this is the best thing available outside of actual skateboarding.
1. Batman: Arkham Asylum
At this point in time, I'd would deem this "the perfect game". Perfect length for someone that is not a professional couch potato, combines multiple gameplay styles flawlessly and features one of the best characters in fiction history. A no brainer.
Top 10 Films of the Decade
10. Cinderella Man
I admit to favoring movies about boxing, especially since it seems like the finest era of the sport ended before I was born. The boxing sequences put the viewer right in the ring while Russell Crowe pulls off the part of Jim Braddock like a pro. And then there's Paul Giamatti…sold.
9. The 40-Year Old Virgin
Of the growing library of over-hyped and underwhelming movies that Judd Apatow has his hands on, this was the one time that all parties involved delivered on the hype. Steve Carell's absence from most other Apatow films might be the reason.
8. American Gangster
To me, Denzel Washington's portrayal of Frank Lucas is as good as Pacino's Michael Corleone. Rather than spend 3 hours watching the good guy chase the bad guy, American Gangster builds from two opposing points and crashes hard at its apex.
7. Gangs Of New York
I believe Martin Scorsese makes the best films in history. Once every decade, he makes a film that redefines his portfolio. In the 1980's, it was Raging Bull. In the 1990's…Goodfellas. Gangs Of New York was that film for this decade.
6. Kill Bill Volume 2
While the first volume focused more heavily on action, Volume 2 filled in the holes and delivered more of the signature Tarantino dialogue that the first film seemed to be missing. David Carradine's death in 2009 makes his role as "Bill" loom large.
5. Watchmen
People either loved this or hated it. I've seen the film countless times and read the graphic novel after seeing the film. I feel like Zac Snyder got this one dead to rights and while critics are falling over Avatar, Watchmen ends up being more impressive by comparison.
4. Snatch
After losing count of how many times I've watched Snatch, sometimes multiple times in one day, I would have thought that Guy Ritchie was the next big thing. Rocknrolla finally came on as a nice follow up, but Snatch is likely to be his crime caper crown jewel.
3. Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers
Had the ending of Return Of The King not been so unnecessarily long, it would have been the best of the three. The Two Towers really has the best of the battle sequences and left me more enthralled for seeing the end than the actual ending provided.
2. The Last Samurai
There is no question that this movie plays fast and loose with any semblance of facts (if any), but it makes up for it tenfold by enveloping the viewer in the intrigue of samurai culture. The final sequence is on par with any in film history.
1. The Dark Knight
The only reason that The Dark Knight is not my favorite film of all time is due to the existence of Goodfellas. Minus Martin Scorsese's mobster classic, this film is amongst the best ever made. Tense, dark, perfectly paced and impossible to ignore.
Top 10 Worst Films of the Decade
10. Undead
No zombie movie that I can recall from this decade had a more deceiving trailer. The first 20 minutes showed promise and it takes an immediate awkward turn involving aliens and floating humans. I have no goddamn idea.
9. Lost In Translation
Bill Murray was up for an Oscar for this?!? Really?!? Critics love this movie. I never had such a solid nap. Sophia Copolla forces this into indie territory for no discernible reason, other than possibly to appear "artsy". A full-on bore.
8. The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
Aside from having the most unnecessarily long title of all time, it is also the longest 150 minutes I ever failed to sit all the way through. It looks like a Western. In a way, I suppose it somewhat is a Western. Instead, it felt like an excuse for Casey Affleck to gaze into Brad Pitt's eyes.
7. The Matrix Loaded
Despite my feelings towards this entire franchise, this one has a special spot for me. Of any movie I have ever seen in the theater, I believe this to be the only time ever that I have groaned out loud and made comments during a movie.
6. Strange Wilderness
Steve Zahn should tar and feather himself for inflicting humanity with this unholy excuse for a comedy.
5. Alien Vs. Predator
What had a ton of potential turned out to be an eye-rolling disaster. The back story was lame and destroyed any semblance of either franchise's universe. And they made a sequel for no really good reason at all…splendid.
4. Old School
I did laugh one time. Once.
3. Friday The 13th
So…Jason Voorhees is now a survivalist mastermind with an underground bunker complete with weapons, traps, corridors and more? Assuming he didn't hire a contractor, this also indicated that Jason is also a construction whiz as well. An epic failure that only Michael Bay can deliver.
2. Bloodrayne
I can be a masochist at times. Bloodrayne is a perfect example. I was well aware of the Uwe Boll reputation, but I still felt the need to see this trainwreck. Seen Michael Madsen lately? This movie is why you haven't.
1. Hostel
This movie made me want to fight Eli Roth. Even if he pummelled me within an inch of my life in the process, at least he would have put more effort into beating me than he did into this ridiculous movie. Every character should have died in the first 5 minutes, saving humanity any additional minute it took to trudge through this pile.
Top 10 Video Games of the Decade
10. Saints Row 2
Admittedly, this is a complete Grand Theft Auto clone in every sense. It gets points in the customization area, allowing for character creation that is adds another comedic layer.
9. Tony Hawk Pro Skateboarding 3
After this version, the Tony Hawk franchise has never recovered. This was basically the last entry in the series that got away with being over-the-top ridiculous while still being fun.
8. The Suffering
The only survival-horror game that kept my interest throughout. Your avatar's personality was revealed at the end depending on how you played the game. In my case, I ended up being a serial killer.
7. Grandia 2
Every sequel since this version has been disappointing, but this was easily the best RPG on the SEGA Dreamcast.
6. Max Payne
The entire franchise has been handled poorly since, but this game was pretty groundbreaking when it first appeared, introducing Bullet Time to gaming.
5. Grand Theft Auto 3
Other games in this franchise have far exceeded this one, but this one gets the nod for being the trailblazer of hilarious and/or offensive violent gameplay.
4. The Legend Of Dragoon
I still believe this is the most satisfying RPG I've ever played, though I'm certain that it would not hold water today.
3. MLB 09: The Show
There is very little that one cannot do in this game that feels unauthentic. Every aspect of MLB from gameplay to front office business is featured prominently.
2. Skate
Skate was and is the Tony Hawk destroyer. Getting it completely dead on right out of the gate, this is the best thing available outside of actual skateboarding.
1. Batman: Arkham Asylum
At this point in time, I'd would deem this "the perfect game". Perfect length for someone that is not a professional couch potato, combines multiple gameplay styles flawlessly and features one of the best characters in fiction history. A no brainer.
Top 10 Films of the Decade
10. Cinderella Man
I admit to favoring movies about boxing, especially since it seems like the finest era of the sport ended before I was born. The boxing sequences put the viewer right in the ring while Russell Crowe pulls off the part of Jim Braddock like a pro. And then there's Paul Giamatti…sold.
9. The 40-Year Old Virgin
Of the growing library of over-hyped and underwhelming movies that Judd Apatow has his hands on, this was the one time that all parties involved delivered on the hype. Steve Carell's absence from most other Apatow films might be the reason.
8. American Gangster
To me, Denzel Washington's portrayal of Frank Lucas is as good as Pacino's Michael Corleone. Rather than spend 3 hours watching the good guy chase the bad guy, American Gangster builds from two opposing points and crashes hard at its apex.
7. Gangs Of New York
I believe Martin Scorsese makes the best films in history. Once every decade, he makes a film that redefines his portfolio. In the 1980's, it was Raging Bull. In the 1990's…Goodfellas. Gangs Of New York was that film for this decade.
6. Kill Bill Volume 2
While the first volume focused more heavily on action, Volume 2 filled in the holes and delivered more of the signature Tarantino dialogue that the first film seemed to be missing. David Carradine's death in 2009 makes his role as "Bill" loom large.
5. Watchmen
People either loved this or hated it. I've seen the film countless times and read the graphic novel after seeing the film. I feel like Zac Snyder got this one dead to rights and while critics are falling over Avatar, Watchmen ends up being more impressive by comparison.
4. Snatch
After losing count of how many times I've watched Snatch, sometimes multiple times in one day, I would have thought that Guy Ritchie was the next big thing. Rocknrolla finally came on as a nice follow up, but Snatch is likely to be his crime caper crown jewel.
3. Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers
Had the ending of Return Of The King not been so unnecessarily long, it would have been the best of the three. The Two Towers really has the best of the battle sequences and left me more enthralled for seeing the end than the actual ending provided.
2. The Last Samurai
There is no question that this movie plays fast and loose with any semblance of facts (if any), but it makes up for it tenfold by enveloping the viewer in the intrigue of samurai culture. The final sequence is on par with any in film history.
1. The Dark Knight
The only reason that The Dark Knight is not my favorite film of all time is due to the existence of Goodfellas. Minus Martin Scorsese's mobster classic, this film is amongst the best ever made. Tense, dark, perfectly paced and impossible to ignore.
Top 10 Worst Films of the Decade
10. Undead
No zombie movie that I can recall from this decade had a more deceiving trailer. The first 20 minutes showed promise and it takes an immediate awkward turn involving aliens and floating humans. I have no goddamn idea.
9. Lost In Translation
Bill Murray was up for an Oscar for this?!? Really?!? Critics love this movie. I never had such a solid nap. Sophia Copolla forces this into indie territory for no discernible reason, other than possibly to appear "artsy". A full-on bore.
8. The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
Aside from having the most unnecessarily long title of all time, it is also the longest 150 minutes I ever failed to sit all the way through. It looks like a Western. In a way, I suppose it somewhat is a Western. Instead, it felt like an excuse for Casey Affleck to gaze into Brad Pitt's eyes.
7. The Matrix Loaded
Despite my feelings towards this entire franchise, this one has a special spot for me. Of any movie I have ever seen in the theater, I believe this to be the only time ever that I have groaned out loud and made comments during a movie.
6. Strange Wilderness
Steve Zahn should tar and feather himself for inflicting humanity with this unholy excuse for a comedy.
5. Alien Vs. Predator
What had a ton of potential turned out to be an eye-rolling disaster. The back story was lame and destroyed any semblance of either franchise's universe. And they made a sequel for no really good reason at all…splendid.
4. Old School
I did laugh one time. Once.
3. Friday The 13th
So…Jason Voorhees is now a survivalist mastermind with an underground bunker complete with weapons, traps, corridors and more? Assuming he didn't hire a contractor, this also indicated that Jason is also a construction whiz as well. An epic failure that only Michael Bay can deliver.
2. Bloodrayne
I can be a masochist at times. Bloodrayne is a perfect example. I was well aware of the Uwe Boll reputation, but I still felt the need to see this trainwreck. Seen Michael Madsen lately? This movie is why you haven't.
1. Hostel
This movie made me want to fight Eli Roth. Even if he pummelled me within an inch of my life in the process, at least he would have put more effort into beating me than he did into this ridiculous movie. Every character should have died in the first 5 minutes, saving humanity any additional minute it took to trudge through this pile.
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